I am a 30-year-old male, recently married in an arranged marriage setting. I am in Canada, and she is in India. We have been in a courtship period for one year.
Now, where I am stuck is that we don’t have much to talk about. I usually ask how her day went and what she did. She is learning Al and ML, so I try to learn about what she is studying. However, when I ask questions about it, she has no answers.
I often encourage her to initiate conversations on topics she wants to discuss, but there’s no response. The idea is to have more and more conversations so we can develop compatibility. I have told her she can talk about anything and that I’ll love it, but all I get is, “I have nothing to say.” I can even count how many times she has asked me to talk over video calls. I even ask her what I am doing wrong so I can improve, but I get no response.
My understanding is that when a girl commits to a relationship, she usually learns everything about her prospective partner-what he does, where he is based, what his future plans are, etc. But I have received no such questions from her to date. She also doesn’t seem to know where good job prospects are for her. She is an MCA graduate. She comes from a rural background and lacks some basic skills, which I have no problem with.
I am trying to help her improve, but I see no effort from her side. As an HR professional, I often tell her that the job market in Canada is ruthless and that she must leave no stone unturned to secure a job. But it seems all my efforts are useless. I have a decent job; it’s just that I don’t want her to end up doing a menial job simply because she lacks some basic skills. Yes, I have plans to invest in the future, and for that, I need a financially stable household. Plus, I have loan EMIs and other bills to pay.
I am handling her paperwork so she can come here as soon as possible. But even now, she doesn’t know what the process is. I am willing to do everything, but all I expect is for her to at least have knowledge of the process and its current status. Sometimes, for example, I try to show her how my other female friends are-they know where they are and where they want to go in terms of their professional and personal lives. But she thinks I am comparing her to them, which I am not.
I understand that not everyone has a clear picture all the time. But once you are on a certain path, all I expect is for her to have a clear idea of the future on that path.
So, please suggest how to make things work.