I am F27 married since 2.5 years from now. It was a arrange marriage. When we met for the first time he told me about his ex who left him to marry someone else under family pressure. I thought that was the past so I didn’t think much as everyone has past even I have. 8 months after our first meet we got married.
Everything was going well before marriage as soon as we got married something changed I didn’t feel the same love and respect from him, I kept asking but he would say you think too much. I was feeling so lonely everyday. After 8 months of marriage One day I checked his phone while he was sleeping(I know its wrong but I did)I saw a fake IG account where he was chatting with his ex recent chat was normal only and past history was deleted.
I asked him about the chat and fake id so he said we are just frnds now and have concerns about each other so after breakup we decided to keep in touch forever by creating fake id. But he promised he would never do that He deleted that fake id. I believed in him everything was going well even we have a 9 months old son now.
After baby I started to feel same loneliness that I used to feel before. I asked him again about the girl if anything again going on between them. I have developed trust issue now. He has rheumatoid arthritis so he always say I am in pain I mostly think about my health conditions so May be you are feeling so, but he has RA before we met that shouldn’t be the reason. We had only 5 times sex in last 9 months.
He has started to shout on me for small small things like if I forget to carry medicines and then I start to cry then he says you always cry and I cant just tolerate your crying everytime. I hate his parents I tried to like them but I couldn’t. And his behaviour making me sick. Everyday I keep waiting for my physical needs love and affection from him.
Because of all this recently I have started to fight with him a lot not deliberately but it happens I don’t know how. I dont want to fight. I am feeling so depressed and lonely. my behaviour is changed I am feeling I am not the same person that I used to be.
Is this normal after baby? Or am I thinking too much? I love him and can’t imagine my life without him.
Please suggest what should I do??