I met a girl last year. We talked, and she was looking for a groom. She was single and had just gone through a heartbreak. I started spending time with her, but she was in a rush to get married to anyone. Before she found someone, I proposed to her within a month, but she rejected me. She began avoiding meeting me, but I kept insisting because I thought it was just the beginning and that she didn’t know me well yet.
I believed that, over time, she would get to know me better. We entered into a relationship, though we never officially confessed our feelings. It was more of a situationship, but I was genuinely in love with her. I wanted to marry her, but she often insulted me, argued, and didn’t treat me well. She would block me over small things repeatedly. Despite this, I kept trying to meet her because I was completely in love with her.
I did my best to keep her happy. At the time, I was a job seeker, and she wanted someone with an IT background. I was taking a course and asked her for some time, but she kept looking for potential grooms on online marriage portals. I was deeply in love with her. We were physically intimate for a while, but I eventually stopped it, fearing that if things didn’t work out, it would complicate her life.
Yet, she continued spending time with me, and I knew she had feelings for me too. However, she either wanted a more secure life or was searching for someone better-I’m not sure. Whenever a groom rejected her, she would come back to me, and we’d spend time together again. I noticed this pattern, but I was so in love with her that I ignored everything and continued to treat her well.
Then, I received a job offer, and she started talking to me more kindly. However, when the offer was canceled, she reverted to her rude behavior. Later, I got another job offer from a different state. I accepted it, hoping to marry her since she wanted a guy with an IT job. But while I was away, she met another groom and finalized her marriage with him. I was heartbroken. I had an accident there, lost my job, and returned home.
I cried a lot during that period as I dealt with a broken heart, financial issues, mental distress, and family problems due to my father. I completely cut myself off from her. Then, while she was dating the man she eventually married, she realized she was actually in love with me. She called me and confessed her feelings. But by then, she couldn’t back out. She began finding ways to meet me-something she had previously avoided or rejected. Despite not having a job due to the accident, she would still come to meet me.
Now she’s been married for seven months, and even after her marriage, she’s been looking for ways to see me. I’m constantly on her mind, but I don’t want to ruin her life. I can’t get her out of my thoughts either, but I don’t try to contact her. That accident shattered my confidence, and I lost everything. I have no hope left in my life, especially with so many family issues.
Despite all this, I’m not addicted to anything and am pursuing a spiritual path to overcome my depression. I am in a deep state of depression.