We used to work in the same office from 2018. We had mutual interest in each other, and as we were at the right age for marriage, we informed our parents. During COVID, we went to our respective homes and continued talking over the phone. Our marriage and all the functions took place during the second wave of COVID.
After marriage, when I moved into his home and started living there, I saw a completely different person. But whenever I tried to ask what had changed, I never got a proper answer-just long replies meant to avoid the question. I used to ask him what he was doing with his salary every month, but I never got an answer. He made me pay for every single expense, even for his parents.
As a newlywed, there were some expectations-going out, a honeymoon, and other life plans we had discussed before marriage. But nothing happened. Slowly, I got to know that he had many debts from his hometown and bank loans. Since I had trusted him, I never asked for his bank statements before marriage.
After one year of marriage, in a serious situation, I forced him to give me his bank credentials. When I saw his statement, I was in complete shock-there were so many abnormal transactions dating back to 2020, when we were working from home due to COVID. When I asked him, he simply lied, saying he was doing some kind of financial rotation among friends. Later, when I showed his statement to our mutual friends, they told me it looked like cricket betting.
This was a huge shock. We are from different states and speak different languages, so I didn’t know what to do. After long fights, the elders suggested that having a baby might solve his issue. That was the dumbest advice I ever took, and it changed my life. I got pregnant, but he still didn’t stop. That’s when I realized that gambling is a mental issue, and once someone is addicted, they cannot easily come out of it.
I tried counseling, but he didn’t cooperate. I tried everything I could. After realizing that even a baby couldn’t change him, I started telling my parents that I wanted a divorce. Now, my baby is 1.5 years old, but the situation is still the same. Nothing has improved. I am taking care of myself and my baby alone. He doesn’t spend a single penny on us and continues to put all his money into gambling every month. How can I live with such a liar, a dishonest person with a gambling addiction?
I have been in complete depression and stress for the past three years. One decision-marrying him-completely ruined my life. I blame myself for making that choice. Now, I’m living with my parents with my baby girl. Even though I am strong enough to go for a divorce, as I am a working woman earning well, I am still really worried about my parents, society, and, most importantly, my precious baby girl. I long for a peaceful marriage with even the bare minimum happiness.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Give him one more chance
Option 2: Divorce and move on
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