I have a job and am financially independent. Since COVID, I’ve been living with my parents because of remote work. While that might sound ideal to some, for me, it’s been emotionally exhausting. My parents have a complicated relationship. They have massive arguments and then completely stop talking to each other for months. Whenever they fight, I feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety. No matter how hard I try to mediate, they don’t listen. They just yell louder, and I feel completely helpless.
Once they enter their no talking phase, the house turns into an unbearable space filled with tension. During those days, my father will not have meals at home; he will eat outside. I wake up suddenly from my sleep at 5 a.m., gripped by anxiety, fearing that something terrible will happen. My mind runs in circles, but there’s nothing I can do. I constantly wonder what if things escalate? What if my mom gets sick, and in this scenario, my dad doesn’t help due to his ego?
This environment is suffocating, yet they don’t take any bold steps like separation or divorce because of what society will say. The worst part is that the cycle never ends. There are brief moments when they start talking again, and on those days, I feel an immense sense of relief, as if I can finally breathe. Those are my best days. But the peace never lasts. Sooner or later, another argument erupts over something insignificant, and we’re back to square one. It’s killing me from the inside.
I know I have the option to move out, to create a healthier space for myself. But every time I think about it, guilt crushes me. My mother isn’t tech savvy; she cannot order groceries or medicines online. If I leave, who will take care of her? Who will take her to the hospital? How will she manage? She refuses to leave this house or even consider separation because of their generational mindset and societal pressure. Both my parents are stuck in this, unwilling to fix things, and I’m stuck in between unable to leave, yet unable to stay without suffering.
I feel completely trapped. No matter what I do, I lose. Please don’t suggest divorce or separation, as they will not do it.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Move out just for my peace of mind
Option 2: Stay with them until I get married
u don’t have to worry. most people of that generation have the same issue. but they don’t get seperated nor will they leave their partner when they are sick. it’s just that u have to control urself and not spoil ur health.
If u get married u will leave anyhow. so keep ur cool and take care of them while u can. let it be if they don’t talk to each other. u just stand by their sides and take care of them and urself too