I’ve been in a beautiful 9-year relationship since December 2015. We both were attracted to each other, living in a small village with houses opposite each other. She (23) completed her degree, and I (27) work in IT. In January 2016, she gave me her number, and we started chatting. At the start, we weren’t too serious because we knew marriage wasn’t an option in our future. But as time went on, we started loving and caring for each other. In January 2017, we both lost our virginity to each other. I was so happy on that day and decided that I wanted to marry her at any cost. But in August 2017, I found out she was cheating on me. I asked her about the guy, and she denied it, even swearing on the Qur’an that she loved no one but me. But eventually, I gathered all the proof.
She broke up with him (her classmate) and begged me to stay in the relationship, saying I was her first love, and that she truly loved me. She claimed she was attracted to him but wasn’t mature enough to understand the situation. Things moved quickly, and she didn’t handle it well. Her parents found out about everything and warned me that if I contacted her again, they would kill me. But she stood by me and told me we were still in contact.
In 2018, her parents sent her to a girls’ boarding school in Hyderabad for 11th and 12th grade. During these 2 years, she called me daily, begging for another chance. I was heartbroken, trying to heal from her betrayal, and developed trust issues. I became possessive and toxic, like a narcissist. Every time she called, we fought, and I blamed her for her past, calling her a characterless bitch. I decided not to marry her. But she still hoped I would change my mind. After finishing her 12th, she met me again, convincing me it wouldn’t happen again. I gave her another chance, and we started again.
In 2020, she joined a B Pharm college in Hyderabad. We both moved to Hyderabad in 2018 for higher studies. By now, I had regained some trust in her, but I still blamed her past. We fought a lot about it, and I often blocked her. Due to my office hours (9-6), I was busy and didn’t give her enough time. We only met once a month on weekends. She always showed care, love, and respect towards me, never showing hatred, but I was always ready to fight with her and disrespect her. In 2023, I realized that despite my narcissistic behavior, she was still with me. So, I decided to marry her and convinced my parents.
In March 2024, I checked her mobile and found a private folder with pictures of her with her senior from college. They had gone for dinner, night rides, her birthday celebrations, and park visits. I didn’t know about any of this for the past 4 years. She had been chatting with him, calling him when I was at work and when I was asleep at 11:30 pm. When I asked her about it, she manipulated me, claiming he was just a friend. She never told me about him over the past 4 years. I got all the details from her friend, who confirmed that the senior had proposed to her multiple times, treating her like a girlfriend. She had told me about other boys too, with whom she hung out, went for dinners, called, and chatted. The total count of boys was 26.
Now, I am confused. Did she truly love me, or was I just a placeholder? Now she’s regretting everything and begging me for one last chance to marry her. She insists all those boys were just friends, and everyone knows about our relationship. I’ve even contacted the boys to understand there perspectives.
after 26 boys u still are confused to make a decision?
u should be matured enough to think about it man.
better move on than getting committed with someone whom u can’t trust.
wat if I marry and still the same goes on
if she truly loved u
she wudnt have talked to others while u were busy at ur work
make a decision soon so u won’t regret later