I am a 27 years old woman, married for three years. It was an arranged marriage, but I’m fortunate because my husband is everything I wanted. He has a great sense of humor, takes good care of me, and we both work in IT, earning well in lakhs. However, I have always been attracted to men with a good physique and a charming way of speaking. My husband doesn’t talk much; he’s more on the quiet side and tends to worry about everything.
Recently, I met a colleague from another state who is also married, and his wife is pregnant back in his state. He came here for work, and we quickly connected. We started spending time together, and eventually, we became physically intimate. We both knew we were married and that there was no future for us, but we couldn’t resist being together after work. When he returned to his state, we kept in touch regularly.
A month later, he came back to my city, and we once again had a physical relationship. His wife is very strict, and we enjoyed our time together when he was here. I even introduced him to my husband, and now they are friends. He’s about to return to his state again, but he’ll be back in November after his wife delivers. Every day, I wake up feeling sad that he won’t be near me. Sometimes, I even cry about it.
I’ve told him how I feel, and he’s acknowledged my emotions, but he says we have to face reality. He also mentioned that once he moves here with his family in December, our families could become good friends and go on outings together but with no physical intimacy, as his wife would be here. Meanwhile, the physical intimacy with my husband has decreased due to our different work schedules, and I told him about this.
However, he didn’t take it seriously, blaming my office hours and his health issues, like his gastric problems. I still feel drawn to my colleague. He assures me that he’ll stay in touch and message or call me whenever he can. But when he leaves tomorrow, I’ll feel the void in the office, and I will miss our physical relationship. I feel emotionally torn. Although I know we can’t leave our spouses, the connection I share with him is strong, and I’m struggling to move past it.
I have allowed him to be physically intimate with me, and I’ve seen how his wife dominates him over the phone. I like him a lot. I wonder why he likes me, even though he is married. Why did he engage with me in the first place if he could have avoided it? And why does he keep in touch with me when he’s far away? He is now friends with my husband too. It’s very difficult to avoid him.
I know people will suggest avoiding him, but how can I avoid someone with whom I have been physically involved? I never had any boyfriend in the past. After meeting this colleague, I feel like I am being heard without being judged. I feel lost and confused. I don’t know what to do or how to cope with these emotions. Please suggest something, and thanks in advance