After reading this, I know many of you are going to judge me, and in some ways, you might be right. I started liking a guy at my office. Before that, I was going through a toxic and horrible relationship. I was dealing with depression and anxiety, and then I saw him and instantly fell in love at first sight. It was completely one-sided. A few days later, I found out that he was already married to his long term girlfriend. We hadn’t even spoken before, but still, I felt numb and devastated, crying over him, without knowing why.
For some reason, we eventually started talking. I confessed my feelings to him and even apologized because I didn’t want to carry that guilt for the rest of my life. Out of nowhere, he also confessed that he felt the same way about me. We began talking more, and we fell for each other. He’s always been with me, never comparing me to his wife or making me feel like a third person. He tries hard to make me feel secure and helps me deal with my anxieties and depression.
We’ve had deep discussions about our careers and dreams, and we’ve equally struggled to achieve them together. He always wants me to be successful, working hard to ensure I have a good, stable life. He’s doing everything he can for me. But he’s been very clear with me he loves his wife just as much as he loves me. He wants me in his life, but he’ll never leave his wife for me, nor will he leave me for her. These words are stuck in my mind, and they hurt me deeply.
I’m madly in love with him. I’m willing to lose everything for him because he came into my life when I had no one and was going through a really dark time. He gave me a new life, and I’m so grateful to him. I’m even okay with not getting married, and I’m willing to make sacrifices for him. This relationship gives me anxiety at times, but he’s always there to comfort me, stay with me, and take care of me.
I’m just confused. What should I do? Am I doing something wrong here? Or am I justified in my feelings? I don’t know. The only thing I know for sure is that I love him and I can’t imagine living without him. He loves me too, but I have no idea where this relationship is headed or how long it can last.
Hi Hari Priya,
As you mentioned you were depressed due to your past toxic and horrible relationship. To over come those things you may look for a comfort zone, so that any person who looks attractive or make you emotionally happy. So in that process you liked that guy, there is no wroung in it.
But he was happily married to his long term girlfriend. If he shared his love with you even there he married to his girlfriend, then there will be a chance of leaving you for her.
Days are not same all the time. He will have kids then his love shifts towards them, orelse any unforeseen things may happen then he may needs to leave you.
As you love him deeply through your heart you have a feeling to not marry with anyone and stay with him like this for lifetime. This won’t work in indian society. Apart of it you need a support at that time he may not available for you.
Also there should be a guy who make you as his love of his life, to take care of you and build a family with you.
My suggestion is to be a best friend or well wisher to him and vice versat from him. And you marry a guy with whom you can have the life shared in all your happinness and joy. If he love you even if he had his lovable wife, why can’t you get married and look that guy and this guy equally ?
You can reach me to dicuss it in detailed.