Hi, I’m a 26 years old female, and my cousin’s friend, a 28 years old male, works for an IT company in Bangalore. We are distant relatives and have only met occasionally, but we’ve been talking regularly on social media for about 1.5 years. I know him well; he is not emotionally attached, and I have a soft spot for him because of his family. My whole family initially opposed our friendship because of his background his father had two wives, and he is the son of the second wife. Despite their warnings, I continued the friendship.
Whenever we had a fight, I would apologize, even if it wasn’t my fault, and I would say sorry whenever he blocked me, which was the only way he would unblock me. Eventually, our friendship grew, but he wanted to meet in person, which I avoided. I invited him to my home with my family’s consent, but he refused. I know how he projects himself towards girls, which is why I avoided meeting him personally. I made it clear that if he wanted to meet me, he would have to come to my house, or I would come with my friends or siblings.
In July 2023, he got an onsite job in Australia, and I was really happy for him, feeling that his hard work had paid off. I bought him gifts for Friendship Day, his birthday, and Raksha Bandhan, all customized. However, we clashed whenever he spoke about his situationship friend in Bangalore. We hadn’t met in person from April 2022 to October 2023. I don’t like his culture, and I accept that. Before his trip to Australia, I had planned a surprise for him by booking a flight from Coimbatore to Bangalore without my family’s consent.
He sent me an inappropriate message a week before his trip, which made me very angry, and I stopped talking to him. I usually keep all my social media accounts logged in on my laptop, and he messaged me, which popped up and was seen by my brother. My brother was furious, and I took all the blame, as he was about to travel to Australia. My brother asked him about the issue, and he said I made all the mistakes and blamed me for being interested in him. I feel guilty, wondering if meeting him in person would have prevented this.
We have been in no contact for almost 10 months now, and he continues to blame me for everything, even though I haven’t mentioned any wrongdoings on his part. I’m trying to figure out if my caring nature towards the opposite gender was the mistake, and if this friendship was ever meaningful. I still can’t come to terms with it.