Confession of Lady Meeting A Guy From Tinder

It was peak COVID in March and April 2021, and I was all alone and lonely in the city, so I started using dating apps. It wasn’t the first time I used a dating app; I had talked to people before but never met anyone in person. I met this guy who lived nearby, and we decided to go to a pub. We had a nice chat, and we thought we should continue drinking at my place, so we went back to my house.

We were both tipsy, and before I knew it, he kissed me. I didn’t stop him, and we made out for a while, but then I thought it was too much for a first date, so I sent him home. He kept asking to meet again, and since we hadn’t had sex yet, I agreed because I kind of liked him too. The next time we met, we did have sex it was my first time with someone. We continued seeing each other for a while, but then he started ghosting me.

When I asked why he was behaving that way, he said he didn’t want a relationship. I didn’t want a relationship either at that time, but his behavior still hurt me. I kept trying to avoid him, but I liked him. After a few days, he came back and asked to meet again. I told him, “You don’t even answer my texts, so why do you expect anything from me?” He then started telling me he liked me and thought we had an attraction.

He apologized, saying he had guests at his place and that’s why he didn’t reply. I was such a fool to fall into this trap and meet him again, even though he told me he still wasn’t ready for a relationship, which was fine because I didn’t want one either at that time. We kept meeting, and this time he was different. He started answering my calls properly, there was no ghosting, and even though he was still avoidant, it felt better.

He even started saying “I love you” in bed sometimes. This made me think he loved me but just wasn’t ready to accept it. However, I had other problems back then my work life was getting tough with a lot of office politics, so I decided to quit and go home in September 2022 for 3 to 4 months. I thought I might lose him because of this, but I had to focus on my career. So, I left. By December 2022, I got a better job and came back.

When I was home, I missed him badly, so when I returned, I thought of confessing my feelings, thinking if he had to leave, it should be now, or if he wanted to stay, it would be great. I thought he must be feeling the same, but no. He said no. He reminded me that he had told me he didn’t want a relationship. This broke my heart, but I decided to move on. Then, after 7 to 8 months, he pinged me asking if I wanted to hook up.

I got so angry and told him, “You think I’m your whore? Out of nowhere, you come and ask if I want to hook up?” He started with his manipulation tricks again, saying we were going through the same things and all that crap, but he didn’t apologize or suggest starting a relationship. Nothing. His one message undid all my progress in moving on, making me think maybe he did have feelings for me. But then, he never pinged me again.

Earlier this year, I met a very emotionally mature and caring guy. But I still had the other guy on my mind, so before starting anything with the new guy, I decided to make a final call to the first guy to ask if he had any feelings for me when he last pinged. He said no, it was just physical. So, I thought I got my closure and decided to give the new guy a chance. We were doing well, but after a month, the first guy called me 20 times, begging me to meet him he was very drunk.

I told him I was seeing someone, and he asked how I could do that to him, saying I was hurting him and should leave the new guy and get back with him. I didn’t meet him that day and told him I would meet him when he was sober. The next day, he apologized, saying he was drunk. I scolded him for saying all that, but then I started feeling guilty, thinking maybe I moved on too quickly. Because of this, my relationship with the new guy got affected.

We started having fights, and maybe I was causing it unintentionally. I drunk texted the first guy last month and then deleted it. Then, last week, he pinged me again, asking if we could meet. I thought of meeting him one last time, and he told me he would call. When he did, he told me he had recently gotten married. I asked him why he called me 2 to 3 months ago when he must have already been engaged. He said he was drunk and could only think of me.

And now this loser, who is married, wants to hook up with me, cheating on his newlywed bride. God knows if he has already cheated with someone else too. When I asked him why he didn’t tell me earlier, he said he would have told me if we had met. A bloody loser cheating on his wife and also wanting me to be his side chick. And here I was, questioning my decision to move on. All these years, I kept thinking why he couldn’t love me, wondering if I wasn’t good enough for him.

I was such a loser, hung up on such a pathetic person who isn’t even tall and is cheating on his wife. Still, he keeps telling me that he didn’t lead me on to anything, even after doing all that. Anyway, I am now happy with my life and so relieved at the ways God protects me. But I do feel bad for the woman he married.