Gave Up My Career And Future For My Boyfriend Dreams

I met a guy on Bumble. We clicked very naturally and quickly. He went out of his way to woo me and made sure I noticed his efforts. I felt connected and started paying attention to him. I’ve been through a traumatic relationship before, so I had a few learnings and clear ideas about what I wanted for the future. I made sure to discuss everything that mattered to me upfront, so if either of us had any issues, we would know right away and could decide not to move forward if things didn’t align.

Whatever I asked or shared, he responded positively, giving the impression that he agreed with what was important to me and would understand when the time came. He was also looking for a partner, but because of his job, he wasn’t getting proper responses. He worked as a hotelier on an overseas cruise line. His challenge was that he worked on a ship for 10-11 months at a stretch, with varying time zones and limited connectivity. He also wanted to settle in the USA.

He told me that all the girls he had talked to previously didn’t even try to get to know him and rejected him because of his work conditions. His 4-year relationship had ended because of these extreme work demands, though I’m sure there were other factors. When I heard about his work and future plans, I believed in him and thought we could work through this challenge because we liked each other.

He assured me he would make every effort to make it work, explaining how we could stay in touch while he was working and what adjustments we’d need to make. He told me he wanted to settle abroad and asked if I was willing to join him. I never planned to leave India, but since we were getting along so well, I reconsidered and said yes. However, that meant I had to rethink all my career plans, as this was a completely new idea for me.

From that day, he immediately pushed me to look for career options abroad. He asked me to research how I could work and adjust to moving overseas. He gave me hope and encouraged me to see a future together, which I started to embrace because I thought he genuinely wanted to make things work between us. I accepted his work conditions, agreed to take care of his family while he was away, and prepared myself for the possibility of living alone in India until he settled in the USA.

I even decided I would start my career from scratch after moving there. I thought we had everything clear and were ready to move forward in the relationship. He got serious, and we shared our feelings both emotionally and physically. However, within a week of becoming intimate, he started acting strangely and stopped answering my calls. He only responded to texts, and those responses were rude.

He said he was busy and didn’t want to talk because he was “going through something.” After repeatedly asking him to communicate clearly, he finally said, “I want to disappear because I need to focus on my future, and you’re distracting me.” I begged him to talk, but he refused. I got sick, and he didn’t even reach out. I started having anxiety attacks because of his behavior, and he dismissed them, saying, “Why are you getting anxious over small things? Stop the drama.”

I was devastated by his reaction. One day, he agreed to talk and told me he was returning to his job and couldn’t continue our relationship. I reminded him we had already discussed how to manage this part of our lives, but he insisted he couldn’t do it and left for work. I was furious and fought with him over his sudden change. When I started experiencing panic attacks and called him, he ghosted me. I never got an answer for why he lied to me or why he did what he did.