Three years ago, I met a guy on Tinder. From the start, I had a feeling that he wanted something casual, something physical. But instead of listening to my instincts, I decided to give him a chance. We connected on Snapchat, exchanged numbers, and started talking regularly. After a few days, we decided to meet in person for the first time. The meeting was okay, not very special but I stayed in touch with him.
A few days later, we met again, and this time, he asked me to go out with him at night. At first, I said no because it didn’t feel right. When I asked why he wanted to go, he said he liked spending time with me. I still didn’t feel comfortable, but he kept convincing me until I finally said yes. That night, I had a little to drink since I wasn’t used to alcohol, and I ended up feeling dizzy and hungover the next day.
I don’t remember everything, but I felt like he got too close and crossed some boundaries. After that night, he didn’t talk to me every day. His behavior made me feel insecure, but I couldn’t completely cut him off. A few weeks later, he asked me to go out again before leaving for his job. I agreed, but deep down, I felt he wasn’t serious about me. That’s when I decided to stop talking to him, and he didn’t try to contact me either.
For the next 6 to 7 months, we didn’t speak. Then one day, he messaged me after coming back from his job he works in the merchant navy. I wasn’t sure if I should reply, but I eventually did. Slowly, we started talking again, and I let myself fall for him once more. One day, I checked his Instagram out of curiosity like most girls do when they like someone. I wanted to know more about him.
What I saw broke my heart. He had been at the same place, at the same time, with another girl. My doubts were confirmed: he had been with someone else. I didn’t know if it was serious or casual, but it was enough for me to stop talking to him. I changed my number, moved to a different city for my job, and avoided him for months. But somehow, he found a way to contact me again.
When I finally picked up his call, he told me his mother had passed away. Knowing how close he was to her, I felt terrible. I couldn’t ignore his pain, so I started talking to him again to console him. This time, he gave me more attention, and we seemed closer. But many of our conversations started to focus on his physical needs. He would ask for things like nudes or talk about sexual topics, which made me feel like he only wanted me for physical reasons.
It hurt me a lot, but I ignored it and kept talking to him. Even though I was in another city for work, we spoke daily. But I couldn’t stop thinking about that other girl. When I asked him about her, he said she was just a casual connection from Bumble and that they were no longer talking. I didn’t know whether to believe him, but I did. One night, while I was back home, we went out again.
That night, we got physically intimate for the first time. My feelings for him grew even stronger, even though he told me he couldn’t commit to a relationship yet. He said he liked me and could see a future with me, but he always left things unclear. This constant uncertainty made me feel like I was on shaky ground. I kept hoping for clarity but was met with confusion instead. He eventually got into the business school he was preparing for, and before he left, I asked him again if he saw a future with me.
His response was vague he didn’t say no, but he also didn’t say yes. Instead, he kept avoiding the question, changing the subject, or giving unclear responses. It felt like he didn’t want to commit but didn’t want to let me go either. When he started college, he barely talked to me. He said he was busy with assignments and exams, and I convinced myself to understand. But his sudden distance hurt me deeply. I felt lost, not knowing where I stood in his life.
Months later, when he came home for a vacation, I decided to talk to him seriously. My parents had started looking for a match for me, and I needed clarity. I asked him if he wanted to marry me. He hesitated and said he needed time to think. After a few days, he agreed to involve his parents. When his father came to my house, I was hopeful. I thought this was the moment when things would finally work out.
But their visit felt cold and formal, like they weren’t really interested. That night, he called me and said his father might not agree to the marriage. Then he said something that broke me completely he mentioned deleting all our photos from the past three years. Hearing those words shattered me. After everything we had been through, how could he say something so casually? A few days later, he told me outright that we couldn’t be together.
He said it so calmly, without showing any regret or sadness. That night, I stayed up thinking about it all. It felt like he had used me for his convenience and left me when he no longer needed me. I loved him deeply, but now I realize he never truly cared about me. Looking back, I see all the signs I ignored. Now I see how much I gave to someone who couldn’t value it. While it hurts to think about, I’ve learned to move forward. Love should never feel one sided, uncertain, or exhausting.
True, pove should come from efforts kept on both sides. He cleared used for convenience. It’s so sad that people who love truly gets hurt easily and due to this they can’t trust a correct person also.