So, I met a boy on a dating app. He’s 4 years older than me. At first, we just exchanged flirty messages (no face pics or nudes), and after three days, I left (blocked him) because I knew I’d get attached, and I didn’t want to keep doing that. Four months later, he reappeared under a different identity on the same app, and we ended up talking again, even though I rarely do this. I didn’t realize it was him at first, but eventually, I figured it out and asked him. He denied it, but I let it go.
Honestly, I liked the way he treated me beyond the flirting; I was craving love, and he came into my life at just the right time. At first, he was very secretive, didn’t want to share his Instagram, name, or anything personal. But after a month, he started opening up and revealed more about himself. He’s been sweet, caring, loving, patient, calm, funny… honestly, he seems perfect, the kind of guy any girl would want.
The problem is, he’s from a different state, and my family would never agree to this. My dad is super strict. Also, I still have trust issues with online relationships. When I told my friend, she scolded me, saying I shouldn’t trust a stranger online because who knows what he’s really up to. He often talks lustfully (which I’m not a fan of, even though he’s also loving and caring).
Sometimes I wonder if he’s only interested in my body-maybe that’s just his way of expressing love; I don’t know. But he’s stuck around, even after I’ve blocked him or tried to leave. He’s the one who’s making me stay in this relationship. It’s not that I want to leave, but I don’t want to get hurt or hurt him in the future. I know this isn’t likely to go anywhere (I can’t even imagine a future with him). He feels the same but still wants to try and be close friends. I don’t want that; I want a committed, long-term relationship.
I’ve told him all of this, but each time I try to leave, he convinces me to stay with his sweetness. I don’t want to hurt him by disappearing again, though. He’s the only one who’s shown me this much love, given me importance, and been so patient with me. I overthink things a lot, but I feel like it’s for the best. Maybe it would be better if I left now so he can find someone who’s better for him. What should I do?
How do I make him understand without hurting him? It’s only been a month since we met, and I don’t want to get more attached. It’ll hurt less if I leave now.