I met this foreign guy who is five years older than me. We talked, and seeing that our views were similar, we fell in love. We both committed instantly. After a month, I had to go to a different city for 25 days, and he decided to join me. That’s when my avoidant personality kicked in. I started getting scared of stability and wondered if I could truly trust him for life.
We had fights, and I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do. He even wanted to return home with me to meet my parents. Being Indian, I was scared to tell my mom, but one day I did, and they didn’t agree at all. In India, it’s common for parents to disapprove, but being a foreigner, he didn’t understand that, leading to more fights. I became so irritated that I told him not to come to my hometown for now.
However, he decided to surprise me and had already booked tickets without telling me. After I returned home without him, I felt lost and missed him. Seeing my condition, he confessed that he was there, and I became happy. But I was not prepared for it and didn’t know how to deal with it. My parents are very strict and both have narcissistic tendencies, so I couldn’t give him enough time.
I would meet him, but not every day. Meanwhile, we had a few fights, and I was losing my mind trying to balance him and my parents. During this time, he met a girl who is deaf and mute, and she showed him a lot of care, which I couldn’t do since I lived far from him. One day, he introduced me to her, and every time I met him, he would at least once talk about this girl. Just yesterday, I decided to ask him if he had feelings for her. He said he has a crush on her, but that’s it.
After that, I lost it. He didn’t tell me until I mentioned that the girl likes him too, and then he admitted that she does. I asked him why he hid this from me, and he said it was because there was nothing to say; he had told the girl about me and that he wouldn’t be leaving me. I told him we could still continue being us if he would stop talking to the girl, but he said he wouldn’t because apparently, I’m not showing him support or compassion, and since this is a new place for him, he is happy to receive all the support, care, and connection he can get.