I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I have a small circle of friends. While I enjoy spending time alone, I often feel empty and wish someone was there with me. My marriage was arranged, and there was a six-month gap between our first meeting and the wedding. During that time, he chatted sparingly, saying he was busy, and I believed him.
After we got married, he seemed fine for the first week, he kissed me once, but then grew distant. He wouldn’t spend time with me, didn’t hold my hand, or talk much. There was no intimacy, and he kept himself busy with work. Even if we were intimate, he would ejaculate out. He rarely called or messaged me unless I reached out first, and only showed care when I was sick.
I tried everything to make things work like teasing him, joking, cooking his favorite meals, and even helping him sleep, despite managing my own work. One day, I asked why he got married if he wasn’t interested. That’s when he admitted he had a past relationship his parents didn’t approve of and was forced into this marriage.
I even told him he could contact the girl, and I’d let him go, thinking of his happiness over mine. But she had moved on, and I encouraged him to take time to heal. Despite this, he left, saying he couldn’t stay with me. Even after discussions with elders, he refused to come back, citing my health issues and behavior as excuses.
I wish he’d return so we could have a normal married life. I’d take care of him and avoid anger, but he still won’t come back. I miss him, and I’m terrified of facing divorce and the pain of letting him go.
You’re in a deeply painful situation, having entered an arranged marriage with hope, only to face emotional distance and rejection from your husband. Despite your efforts to connect and make the relationship work—through care, patience, and understanding—he has chosen to leave, citing unresolved feelings from a past relationship and other excuses. This has left you feeling empty, heartbroken, and terrified of divorce.
It’s important to acknowledge your strength and the love you’ve shown, even in the face of rejection. While it’s natural to wish for a “normal” marriage, accepting the reality of his inability to commit is a crucial step toward healing. Holding onto hope for his return may prolong your pain, and focusing on your own well-being is essential.
Consider seeking therapy to process your emotions and rebuild your self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive people, even if your circle is small, and explore activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Letting go of the idea of this marriage and considering divorce, though scary, may be necessary for your long-term happiness. Divorce isn’t a failure—it can be an act of self-respect and a step toward a brighter future.
Take time to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned. Reconnect with yourself, rediscover your interests, and build a life that aligns with your values and desires. While the path ahead may feel uncertain, you have the strength to heal and create a fulfilling life. You deserve love, respect, and happiness, and with time and support, you can find it.