I’ve been with my husband for nearly three years, and we’ve been married for just six months ago. I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant with our first child, and I always thought I knew him inside out. He’s always been loving, supportive, and the kind of guy who could make anyone feel like the luckiest person in the world. But now, I’m questioning everything.
Yesterday, I caught him laughing at something on his phone. When I asked what was so funny, he brushed me off, saying it was nothing, then kissed my forehead like it was no big deal. Normally, he’d share it with me, and we’d laugh together, but not this time. Something about the whole thing felt off, so when he went to shower that night, I did something I’ve never done before-I looked through his phone.
What I found made my blood boil. There were messages between him and a female coworker. Until a month ago, everything was strictly professional, but then she started crossing boundaries. She began prying into our personal life, asking about our marriage, our sex life, even my pregnancy. And two weeks ago, she outright offered to sleep with him! The timing of her shift in tone lined up perfectly with the night we attended a team dinner-where I met this woman for the first time.
Here’s the kicker: instead of shutting her down right away, my husband decided to play along. Sure, he rejected her, but not without making a joke out of it. He said things like, “Didn’t your mother teach you to stay away from married men?” and “Maybe if you put the same energy into your job, you’d actually get promoted.” She even insulted me, calling me fat, ugly, chubby-and instead of defending me with seriousness, he replied with, “I’m going to go kiss my chubby wife now.”
I feel utterly betrayed. How could he find amusement in this when she was clearly trying to sabotage our relationship? He may not have cheated, but he entertained her advances, and that hurts just as much. How could he laugh off something so serious? Is this what our marriage is to him-a joke?
I’m devastated, confused, and angry. How should I confront him about this? Am I overreacting, or is my anger justified?
there’s nothing to overreact here. any female would obviously have an issue with such behaviour.
Hmm actually your husband is funnily being serious which your not getting he is still loving you infront of her
What you’re feeling is completely justified, and your anger is valid. Your husband crossed a boundary by engaging with a coworker’s inappropriate advances and making light of your dignity, even when she insulted you. This wasn’t just a matter of physical cheating; it’s about emotional betrayal and a lack of respect for you as an equal partner in the marriage.
You’re entitled to expect loyalty, respect, and protection in your relationship. Instead of shutting down the advances, he played along, making jokes that diminished your worth. This is not only disrespectful, but it also undermines the trust that’s essential in a partnership.
When you confront him, be clear about how his actions made you feel: betrayed, disrespected, and hurt. Ask him why he didn’t shut the coworker down immediately and why he didn’t defend you when she insulted you. His response will show you whether he truly values you and your marriage.
Ultimately, this is about holding him accountable for his actions and deciding whether you can rebuild trust and respect, or if this is a relationship you deserve to walk away from. You deserve a partner who not only respects you but also defends you when necessary. Trust your worth, and don’t settle for anything less.
Regard
P