I Caught My Husband Flirting With Other Women Online

I am 30 years married woman. I caught my husband flirting with other women online. We had a fight, loads of crying, and from that time I do not trust him anymore. He promised me that it would never happen again, but I caught him twice. He was sending messages to women appreciating their figure in a picture and flirting with them (these women knew he is married). I can’t afford to trust him again and destroy myself emotionally.

I am from a family where divorce is still a taboo, so I decided to fulfill my wife responsibilities and focus on myself. I have started keeping myself busy and also engaging more on social media, posting beautiful pictures of me. Now, I have seen men who were my school/college mates/colleagues suddenly start sending me reels immediately after liking my pictures, just to start a conversation.

I am good-looking (above average compared to normal girls). Also, one of the guys who is approximately 8 years younger than me sends me messages. Initially, I told him I do not talk unnecessarily, but still, he continued to send reels. I do not react/reply to any man, but they keep on sending me messages/Instagram reels-and all of them know I am married. In fact, many of them are also married.

Many men who DM me have good physiques, are good-looking, and have always admired me not just for my beauty but for the kind of woman I have always been. Now, after seeing all this male attention on social media and me not being needy for his love anymore, my husband is becoming insecure. And now, for the first time, I don’t care anymore about his feelings because I’ve gone through a lot in this marriage.

The entire post is not to tell all of the men:

1. If you get a woman who is dedicated to you financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually-respect her.

2. If a woman makes you her entire world, don’t make her regret it because once she detaches from you, no matter what you do, she will never love you again (even in marriage).

3. When you appreciate and try to get into other women’s DMs, whether on social media or in real life, always remember there are at least 10 other men doing the exact same thing for your woman-it’s just that she is not giving them a chance because she is loyal to you.

4. If you are married, then maintain your own and your wife’s dignity. That’s the least you can do for her. Sexting or persistently sending messages to other women, even just to admire their beauty or start a conversation, is a slap on your woman’s face, which she receives in return for loving you unconditionally.

One point for women also:

1. If you know a guy is married, at least have some loyalty towards the other woman and don’t engage with him under any circumstances. Have some shame at least. You are not only insulting yourself but also the other woman.

2. The attention you are enjoying right now is because he wants sex/nudes from you. He doesn’t want to marry you. He will never leave his wife or kids for you because in India, marriages are a family matter, and no guy will ever want to talk about you (the side chick) in front of his parents or society. Marrying you is never a possibility; using you for sex is what he wants.

I know every person (girl or guy) has a limited tolerance power. Do not test their patience or push them to the extent that they leave you, even if it costs them everything they have.

Question: Am I doing right by focusing on myself?

Option 1: Yes, grow your own personality

Option 2: No, give him a 3rd chance?