I have been married for the last two years and am currently seven months pregnant.
Ours is a bittersweet marriage, just like anyone else’s. He is a typical male with an Indian mentality but loves me. We are both financially independent, were friends before marriage, and always try to maintain that bond. Sometimes, when he overrides my emotions, neglects my efforts, and behaves like a typical egomaniac, I do not stay calm-I give it back, showing my anger and resentment. This often leads to emotional exhaustion and personal setbacks for me, as I am someone deeply invested in emotions. My gut feels off unless things are alright. On the other hand, he rarely gives importance to such feelings, shuts off his sentiments, and behaves like a robot.
Last year was particularly rough, as I was trying to mend our marriage by introducing more discipline, co-sharing of chores, date nights, and open conversations. However, he was totally against any changes and believed that preset notions, rules, and discipline would not bring any good.
However, post-pregnancy, a lot of things have changed in me. I have become calmer than ever. His habits, which once annoyed me, now mean nothing. I let him make all the decisions for me, do not demand emotional needs, have no issues with his late-night parties, and have become the submissive, compliant wife he probably always wanted. All these changes came naturally and magically after pregnancy, leading to a zero-conflict situation. He now lives the life he always wanted-a marriage without *biwi ka chikchik*-and says he is very happy with me, wondering why I wasn’t this understanding before.
On the other hand, I am constantly worried, knowing that this “understanding” is likely due to pregnancy hormones and not my true self. Once the baby is born and the beautiful hormones that make me the *bechari susheel* (subservient) wife fade away, I will return to my real self-someone who tolerates no nonsense, believes in equal partnership, joint decision-making, and openly discusses relationship issues.
This current unbothered, calmer version of me is sweet, but I feel it’s not permanent. I love him and want him to enjoy his life, but how do I always remain like this? Our boundaries are not set. Ladies who have been through similar behavioral changes during pregnancy, please guide me…
Question: Did I really change for good?
Option 1: It’s just the temporary hormones
Option 2: Pregnancy brought out the softer side permanently
worrying so much at a time like this may affect ur health. if ur happy watching ur submissive behaviour towards ur husband which make him happy, then it’s ok. bt if ur suffering and not feeling like urself. then that might be a problem in the future. he lives his life and enjoys it. what about u?. don’t u have a life, or don’t u want it anymore. evry person has a life to have fun. leaving all the emotions for someone else’s happiness and loses urself isn’t good for urself.
better think about whats for u in the future. if u stay the same ull be treated the same the entire life. and if ur fine with it then u better prepare urself to stay this way ्