Let me spell it out I cheated on my husband, and now he’s flatly refusing to divorce me. We don’t have kids, so ending this should have been a no brainer. I admitted my mistake, begged him to sign the divorce papers, and even endured two miserable years of separation. During that time, I tried to finalize things, but he kept throwing the most outrageous excuses at me. “No one will want you,” he’d say. “You won’t stay pretty forever,” he’d warn.
As if my worth was defined by my looks and someone else’s approval. He practically begged me to stay, saying, “Give this marriage another shot. I love you too much.” He knew full well that I was seeing the guy I cheated with. Yet, he persisted with this delusional fantasy of reconciliation, despite my insistence that I had changed and this marriage was over. He even seemed to take a sick pleasure in watching me squirm.
When I came clean about past infidelities, he didn’t get angry. Instead, he simply said, “I don’t care how many men you slept with; as long as it’s over now, that’s all that matters.” His complete lack of emotion was infuriating and made me feel utterly insignificant. Here’s the kicker: for a decade, I was trapped in a financially abusive nightmare with him. I was forced to pay all the bills while he hoarded his salary and savings, constantly belittling me by claiming I was broke and that it was my duty to support him.
I did everything for him, and all I wanted was to feel secure with someone who actually valued me. I own our apartment, our car, and have some investments for our future. When he moved back after our separation, I made it clear that we needed time, even if I withdrew the divorce papers. But his first response was, “When can I tell my landlady I’m moving out so I don’t have to pay rent?” It’s like he was more concerned with dodging rent and using my car than with actually fixing our broken relationship.
He moved back with just a mattress and demanded I buy a bed for him, which I did, trying to be a good partner despite everything. Then, the financial probing started: “How much money do you have saved? What’s in your account? What assets are in your name?” It’s become glaringly obvious that he came back only to secure a future where everything is paid for while he contributes nothing.
He spat the name of my lover in my face in front of my father when I asked him to stop making me foot the bill for everything. So, am I a complete idiot for owning up to my mistake and hoping for a fresh start with someone who actually values me, while he’s just hanging around for the financial security?