Eight months ago, I got married to a 30 years guy . It was an arranged marriage, and we went on many dates and long drives before the wedding. We had plenty of time between our engagement and the marriage to connect and understand each other. He’s very good looking, caring, and loving. He stays abroad, but thanks to working from home, he was able to stay in India until our wedding. I had never been in a relationship before, so this was my first love, and I loved him wholeheartedly.
Before the wedding, I asked him many times if he had any past relationships and assured him that I would accept him as he was. I just wanted to know his past because I believe honesty and transparency are key to a healthy relationship. He always replied that I was the only girl he ever felt connected to and loved, and that there were no other girls in his life. I was convinced I was the only one. Ten days after the wedding, I found out through his chats with his cousin that he had been in a relationship with a girl abroad, where he lives.
Due to caste differences, both families were against their marriage, and they had to sacrifice their love. I even saw my husband’s messages blaming the caste system for their breakup. These chats were from just two days before our engagement. I felt devastated and broken. I had been lied to and felt betrayed. When I went through his gallery, I found many pictures of his ex and photos of them together. He told me he had planned to share all this with me after marriage but hadn’t found the right time.
When I checked his phone further, I saw semi nude and nude pictures of other women, as well as his chats with prostitutes. He claimed that it was just for “time pass” and that he had never actually gone to prostitutes. He also used dating apps, all before our marriage. On top of that, he had been in multiple relationships before, and he smokes, which I don’t like, and he had lied to me about that too. Somehow, he convinced me that he had changed and wanted to start a fresh life with me. I accepted this and he deleted everything from his phone.
After his work from home period ended, he went back abroad, and my visa is in the process. One day, during a video call, he was sharing his screen, and I saw another nude picture of a woman in his gallery after he had gone back. He claimed he didn’t know how the picture got there. Later, I found out from his bank statements that he had made transactions to a random video call app used to call stranger girls, and this happened after our engagement. He told me that his card was being used by a friend.
All these things are traumatizing me. I’ve completely lost trust in him and feel utterly cheated, but he still insists that he loves me and that I’m the only one for him now. I am totally clueless and have no idea how to proceed.