My Married Boyfriend Ruined My Life

I don’t know where to start. I got married at 24, against my parents wishes. Eventually, they accepted my decision and hosted a grand reception, more for societal expectations than out of joy. My father holds a respectable position, and appearances mattered. But my marriage was nothing like I had imagined.

Our first night was empty no intimacy, no emotional connection, just a hollow silence. At first, I thought this was normal, but as I listened to my friends talk about their marriages, I realized how different mine was. There was no love, no passion, no understanding. I kept hoping things would get better. In 2017, after many struggles, I gave birth to a baby boy. But my husband remained the same jobless, irresponsible, and addicted to betting.

I became the sole breadwinner, covering all household expenses. Even when our three months old son needed open-heart surgery due to a congenital heart defect, I bore the entire financial burden alone. Despite everything, I stayed – partly because of societal pressure, partly because I didn’t know what else to do.

Just before COVID, we moved from Hyderabad to Anakapalli to start a business, investing 40 lakhs. The pandemic wiped out everything. We lost our savings, but my husband still refused to work. Every time I questioned him, he threatened me. After the second wave, I secured a job in Mysore to keep us float. We had nothing not even enough for food. I left my son with a nanny, trusting that my husband would finally take some responsibility.

But he only sank deeper into gambling, draining whatever little money I sent home. My own bank accounts were frozen due to unpaid loans, so I started using my mother-in-law’s account for my salary, sending almost everything back, keeping just enough for rent and food.

Then, one day, I fell seriously ill and was hospitalized. When I tried to pay my bills, I realized my account was empty he had taken everything. My roommate had to cover my hospital expenses. That was the moment something inside me broke. There were so many times he failed me, never once asking if I was okay. Over time, I emotionally disconnected. I grew up watching my father be a responsible husband and father, yet the man I married never once stood by me. It’s been five years now-I live alone, working tirelessly to support my son and his father while he does nothing but sleep and eat at home.

I asked for a divorce, but he refuses. I am 37 now, and when I see couples who support each other, I feel a deep, aching loneliness. I stay in this marriage only for my son, yet even he chooses to stay with his father, leaving me feeling even more lost. I have no close friends-I fear forming connections. My parents have distanced themselves, caught up in their own lives. I feel directionless and exhausted.

How do I move on from this? How do I rebuild a life for myself?

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