My husband forces me to live with his parents, do all the housework and office work, and give him 50% of my salary. I feel I am being used because I honestly lived much better when I was single. I lived alone in my 2BHK and had quiet and peace. Home always clean, very quiet, and I could hear the chirping of birds. Worked for 8-9 hours, and the rest of the time, I focused on my hobbies-gardening and arts and crafts.
Here, I don’t get any time for myself. As a woman, I need 9 to10 hours of sleep, and here his parents want me awake at 6 AM, whereas my time is 8 AM. I don’t get to go to the gym anymore. I have had such a glow down, my weight is increasing, and I have dark circles. Never had white hair, but I got them in just two years of marrying this guy. Plus, these people don’t let me eat chicken on certain days of the week, and it’s essential for my protein requirements.
Sometimes, I feel like running away somewhere far to a village with lush greenery and fresh air, living alone with animals. This life is not for me at all. I got irregular periods for the first time in my life here. When I look at my husband, I feel like puking, despite the fact that he is very handsome, but he treats me like a maid. When I talk about keeping a maid, they have a problem. When I talk about me and him moving to my 2BHK flat, his parents cry.
Sometimes, I feel like shouting, getting angry, making all three sit in a row, and giving them a three hour lecture that I don’t want to live like this-not with this glow down I’m experiencing. But I am not that type of person. I have always been sweet, courteous, and loving, but this marriage is making me become what I am not. I don’t want to be a manipulative, angry woman.
Now I realize why women are always so angry. I mean, if I get less than my 10 hours beauty sleep I am groggy, and women out there are sleeping 6 hours, traveling in local trains, coming back, and cooking. I want to be free. I want to be alone. Many times, I feel like I am caged, that my life is that of a slave, just toiling for people who don’t even love me.
I don’t want to stay in society either, honestly. I just want to go somewhere far. The way I lived earlier, my lifestyle was 100X better. I would pay this dude alimony to leave me because I feel like he is my master and I am just a slave, and I need to pay him fees for my freedom.
Sorry for so much trauma dumping, but I just wanted to let it out.